This year I thought it would be super exciting to take part in #Blogtober2017 if you don’t know what that is, then hop along to Hexmum’s blog (Mandi) and you can take a looksie. I have also decided that I’m going to go all Stealth mode with these posts, as i don’t want to spam my homepage with blogtober, but don’t worry I’m still taking part! – You can also click on my blogtober image in the sidebar.
Day 5 of Blogtober is all about Education, I was going to tell you al about my successes going through the education system, but I’m pretty sure a lot of you won’t appreciate the bragging and all that so I thought I’d talk about my time at Primary school and my bullying story.
Going through Primary school was probably one of the worst times from my childhood, I dreaded waking up in the morning and going to school, I couldn’t concentrate on homework and I think there were several nights where i just cried myself to sleep (silently) I was never one of those outgoing kids who could tell their parents everything, I was quite reserved and kept myself to myself mostly at home and on the playground. I never put my hand up in class to answer a question in case they picked on me for getting the right answer (no one likes a know it all do they?)
I don’t often like talking about my bullying story, as no one likes writing about sad times in their past because it forces them to remember details and thoughts/feelings you might have had during the time the event was happening.
So every day I would take that 10 minute walk to school with my mum and older brother, approaching the school gates i remember walking slower and slower dreading to enter the school because I knew that it was going to happen all over again and that overwhelming feeling of fear overtakes, but me being me I just get on with it and hope if i say nothing, then they will stop…oh boy was i wrong, if anything my vulnerability and timidness egged the bullies on more and they took advantage of that because somehow they knew I wasn’t going to alert the teachers…and they were right, i didn’t tell a soul because i was terrified the bullying would get worse and on many occasions the bullies even told me that if i said anything to the teachers they’d “kill me”.
The worst time for me during school was probably playtime as the bullies would find ways to trip me up, call me names, spread rumours, one I remember rather vividly was that I had “germs”, didn’t bother me at first but when near enough your whole year avoids you, points and stares at you, it can get a bit depressing and you’re made to feel like shit and worthless!
I would probably say this bullying went on for at least 2 years before I plucked up the courage to say something, one Monday morning i was in the bathroom and i remember locking myself in their just sobbing, I heard my mum shouting from down the hall, rushing me to hurry, but i refused to leave the bathroom so she asked what was wrong and after several attempts to get me to speak i eventually said it, well she said it, “are you being bullied” and i just burst out in tears because it was like a weight had been lifted as i knew my mum wouldn’t just leave it there and so she rang the school and said i wasn’t going in, the next day the headteacher had all the bullies write me a letter to apologise for what happened.
Returning to school, it was like magic the bullies had slowly backed off and I was left in peace, and I actually made friends with this Phillipeno lad who i still sometimes speak of today, we used to trade Pokemon cards and talk about Pokemon most of the playtime.
The funny thing is that’s not the full story, there’s much more but i don’t feel comfortable sharing that as its very personal and disturbing.
Being bullied wasn’t fun, and looking back I could have avoided it by sticking up for myself and telling someone straight away, but the past is the past and thankfully there are now stricter bullying laws set in place in schools which is great news! I wouldn’t want any little kid going through what I did, and I will do everything in my power to ensure Logan gets the best school experiences.
Thank you for sticking around if you did read my story, it’s not as in-depth as i could have written but to be honest, i didn’t want to talk about it anymore, I’m a happier person these days and i hate writing depressing, tear-jerker posts. (besides i miss being able to say lol)
Until tomorrow’s blog post (Prompt Flowers) – cya x
Images not my own and taken from Pexels, all credits go to the original photographers.