I honestly thought I’d be one of those crazy cat/dog ladies for the rest of my life. I really didn’t think I’d find love again especially being a single mum of 2 kids.
Before I dive right into what I want to share, you’re probably wondering where on earth I’ve been for the past 3 months, I do apologise but those who are single parents of 2 very young children you will know how challenging it can be to even find time to cook for yourself never mind blog.
Now don’t worry I’m not going to enlighten you with all the cheesy, soppy stories but what I will do is give some of you mothers (or fathers) who are possibly contemplating finding love again and advice on how I managed the whole dating scene while being a single mum.
Now some of you may be thinking, but Maria don’t you think it’s a bit soon? My answer to that, HELL NO! I know deep down that it’s the right time for me, I know it takes some people 1 year plus to want to look for love again but for me, well it came out of nowhere it be honest, I wasn’t expecting to fall in love, but I did and love is a powerful thing and cannot be helped.
I’m not gonna lie, there have been a few Tinder dates which didn’t end very well and I’m not proud of them but having just come out of a 5 + year relationship, I didn’t see the harm in having a bit of fun, but sometimes it isn’t fun, and there are a lot of disrespectful guys on there.
What I’m about to say may sound contradictory but not all dating apps are out there to kill you, hehe I’m not gonna name which app as I’m not endorsing it in any way, but I did actually find and meet my now boyfriend on this app and well what can I say, I’m extremely happy that I’ve met him and have it not been for that app I probably wouldn’t have met him, and still be a sad singleton. His name’s Ben and he is the sweetest guy, he treats me right and that’s all I can ask for! 🖤
When it comes to actually going out on a date, whether it be during the day or night, I usually plan it for the nights Logan/Sully are at their dads, admittedly it’s only been Logan going to his dads since the split but that was agreed to be the best thing at that time as Sullivan was still so little and did need his mummy more but now he’s almost 6 months old I feel it’s about right for him to go stay with his dad.
Top 5 tips for dating with young kids
Take your time, don’t rush into anything!
What I mean by this is, don’t jump straight into the dating scene as soon as you’ve left a relationship, you’ll end up doing the classic old rebound and then realise you’re not ready. Plus you should take this time to reflect, better yourself and focus on getting into a stable routine with the kids especially if you’ve had to move home or into temporary accommodation.
2. Drop the guilt!
Yes! It’s easier said than done? But you shouldn’t ever feel guilty for wanting to find love again, I mean if your ex can you are allowed too right!? Guilt comes in all forms being a parent anyway, you feel guilty for giving your toddler quick, freezer meals and instant noodles just because you can’t always be Gordon Ramsey and that’s ok.
3. Your kids aren’t baggage!
I’ll admit I have been here and thought who on earth would want to date a single mum with 2 kids under 2? Well guess what your kids are a bonus, in fact, i guarantee having kids is not a turn off for men, But be warned you may get called a milf or dilf from time to time, but yes, embrace it and be proud of your single parent status!
4. Don’t introduce the kids too soon!
I mean it comes down to personal preference, for me it’s not such an issue as Sully is still only small and doesn’t understand but Logan is a bit different as he can get attached quickly so it’s important you don’t rush the introduction until your certain he/she is the one!
5. Once you find love, don’t let it go!
This one’s not really a dating tip, but to tell you that once you have dated a few fish and picked out the good egg from the bad, and you finally feel ready to say the “I love you” *and its mutual* then go for it, you only live once, so once you find that happiness again, grab it with both hands and the skys the limit! But most importantly, if you’re happy then your kids will be!
~Happy Dating ~
If you haven’t already checked out my previous post you can do so here!