Do I want more children?

Do I want more children?

The short answer is Yes!

You’ll be surprised but growing up I’ve never been the maternal type, and wasn’t overly glad about mum having another kid and younger brothers for me. So whenever my friends asked if I wanted any children I used to say I don’t know or I’ll have to meet the right person. But as I’ve discovered the right person isn’t always the best person, because people change and relationships change.

Fast forward to when I found out I was pregnant with Logan, I was actually really excited and I could feel my inner mum self awaken, I was nesting quite early on and couldn’t wait to decorate his nursery, strange but I actually knew that I was going to have a boy way before the 2nd scan. Me and his dad couldn’t wait to be parents, then he was born and before we knew it, thrown into the deep end of changing nappies, making up formula, sleepless nights and trying to catch a few moments rest while your newborn feeds. There’s always that negotiation about whose going to wake up with the baby next, while the other sleeps on, that from experience can cause some strain as you’re both tired and want sleep but baby does have needs and depends on you to keep alive. You can read Logan’s labour and delivery story here!

But you get through it and before you know it there, walking, talking independent toddlers who have far too much energy and won’t sit still.

When Logan was about 11 months old, me and his dad was talking about siblings for Logan and when the best time would be for that and I knew deep down I wanted them close in age and so we agreed to start trying and the next month rolled around, no period and all the familiar early pregnancy symptoms started to show, bought some of them cheap pregnancy testing strips off eBay, took one and even on the cheapies the hcg was quite prominent and indeed confirmed my suspicions that I was indeed pregnant with brood number 2.

This time around I could have honestly thought I was carrying a girl, just because how different the pregnancy went, no morning sickness and hardly any weight gain, more acne (which in the old wives tales means your daughter drains your beauty for herself) – selfish mare haha!!

Fast forward 9 months and contractions started about 6 days past due date, and I was in the middle of watching something on Netflix, so I started timing and they were fairly consistent and weren’t stopping, but as I remember from my contractions on Logan, they can last a while especially in the first stage. And I was right, there was no show of him that day, it all started getting stronger in the early hours of the 5th of January and 4 hours after that I gave birth to him in the birthing pool, which was lovely. You can read my delivery story here.

Looking back at these photos makes me feel like it was only yesterday, but that memory does feel bitter sweet as it was a bloody amazing and incredible moment giving birth to my second son, but at the same time knowing that I’d be doing it all alone and as a single parent. But you know what I think I’ve done a pretty good job with raising both in my opinion, despite my overwhelming thoughts and down days when I think I’m not a good enough mum, but hey they’re smiling and happy little kids, and Logan’s excelling in nursery and with his toilet training!

Now I’m pretty sure you’re all aware I’m not with the kids dad anymore, and haven’t been since Christmas 2017. But I am with my new fella Ben, who has been my rock, even though he was dealing with his own shit a lot more serious than mine. So thank you babe for loving me when I thought no one ever would!

Bens adamant that he’ll give me a girl one day, and I say I hope so, but whatever he or she turns out to be I know 100% they’ll be loved so much and will make a great addition to my family! Ben is already so great with my 2 boys and they adore him! Though don’t get the wrong impression, I do want another child but not YET, I have my mirena coil and that lasts 5 years so sometime after that maybe, but you never know, but I have said I want to be engaged and have that little extra security for both me and the kids. And my two boys are a handful at times!!Plus I really really want to get a dog!

Can’t wait for the days we’re living together and for us to go on Holidays together and trips to Chester and Llangollen in the summer months! 😀 BRING IT ON

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6 thoughts on “Do I want more children?

  1. I sometimes want another child too but I think I’m getting too old, going to be 39 this year and I don’t want to be an old mom. Right now my two kids are 4 and 5. We’re happy as a foursome right now but sometimes I want another one too.

  2. I always find it fascinating that so many people know so early that they are ready for more children. I never had that I still don’t! It’s wonderful that you know just what you want. Your future sounds very exciting. Thank you for sharing with #TriumphantTales.

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