My fears for having 2 under 2

My fears for having 2 under 2

 My fears for having 2 under 2 - wrexhammama

I’ve never really opened up about my fears for having 2 children under 2, mainly because no one has asked how I feel about becoming a mum of 2 under 2 and another reason is because I’m the sort of person who keeps things locked away until it fizzles me down and someone eventually asks me, “what’s up” but even then I make the issue as vague as possible to avoid the inevitable pity.

I’m not sure whether it’s all these extra hormones that are making me fear the birth of baby S more; probably is, but I just wanted to share with you how I feel now so that, if there are any other mummies out there, that are expecting their 2nd baby soon, maybe you can share this post with them so hopefully this can help them and give them a sense of relief knowing they’re not alone when it comes to worrying over the littlest things.

  • Getting out and about with 2 under 2

This has been a constant fear of mine since I first found out that I was pregnant with my second baby, luckily we have a double pram now thanks to my very generous mum, but what’s worrying me is if I’ll be able to push the tandem pram up the massive hill which we live on, and if I’ll be able to manage to get on and off public transport, since me nor my partner can drive, I know it’s going to be more of a struggle but we’ll just have to persevere until Logan is old enough to be able to walk around without the pushchair, as he currently still has 1 nap a day.

  • Will my toddler’s sleep regress?

Another fear I have is L’s sleeping, he currently has a great routine, he sleeps through all of the night pretty much and we don’t hear of him until he wakes up at 6/6.30 am and if we’re lucky 7 am. What’s worrying me is if his sleep messes up when baby S arrives, will he start night waking again if/when hears baby crying etc. It’s going to a lot more difficult for me to see to both kiddies especially when it’s just me getting up as rob will be working most mornings (after paternity leave). Please, can someone reassure me that this isn’t the case and he will still sleep through! >.<

  • Small age gap

An obvious concern I have, as with any age gap i suppose has its pros and cons, but I’ve heard from a lot of people that having  2 children closer together is more hard work than having 2 children who are older in age, but I guess every family is different and I may find that i love having the closer age gap, i mean it was my plan initially anyway, we’re not getting any younger are we.  L will be about 19 months old when baby S arrives, so I’m hoping that he is a bit more understanding by then, because at the moment he doesn’t understand the current situation with mummies growing belly.

Logan holding pic of brothers 20 week scan photo
Click photo to read my original pregnancy announcement
  • Financial Doubts

Being a young (ish) couple with a toddler is not that expensive really, as long as he’s fed and has new trainers when he needs them and the other expenses like nappies and wet wipes, it’s quite manageable. But the fears come when I start overthinking the whole situation, can we afford to have another baby? Then I remember, i have kept a lot of L’s baby clothes so that’s saved us a heck of a lot of money in the long run. The only things we really need to purchase for baby S is the larger more expensive items like a breast pump and Moses basket/baby bean bag as i really would like one of them for when baby naps during the day, and it’s quite transportable, so if we go to my mums then he can nap on the bean bag instead of lugging around the tandem pram.

  • Coping with having a toddler and a newborn

Something else that has been playing on my mind is, how will I cope with having a toddler and a newborn? The fear of Rob going back to work after paternity leave is too much to think about right now, and I’m just praying that we get into some sort of routine before he goes back to work because the first day being a solo mum of 2 is going to hit me like a tonne of bricks i can imagine. What do I do when baby S is crying and L wants me at the same time? Will I be able to do anything for myself, e.g. make a brew, or even eat/cook etc.

  • Will my toddler still love me when newborn arrives

This has been a fear of mine for a while too, not that I’ve read a horror story on the internet or anything. And I’m sure L will love his new baby brother, right? Or am i being too optimistic? I just hope that L doesn’t start getting jealous, or hitting/smacking me or the baby to vent his frustration that he won’t be the only child anymore. I will try to avoid this by getting L involved with baby S as much as possible and trying to play with L while baby naps, and will be a bonus if i get them both to nap at the same time! #parentingwin

  • Breastfeeding fears

On top of all the above fears, this has to be the one that i’m worried/anxious about the most, because it’s a completely new concept to me as i bottle fed L, so In that respect it’ll be like im a new mummy all over again, and that’s terrifying! I’m scared that I won’t be producing enough milk or the latch is wrong every time, and end up with mastitis. I fear that Logan will need me at night when i’m feeding baby S, is it ok to send daddy in to see to L if he has work next day? I fear that people will judge me and give me dirty looks if i’m feeding out in public, especially the first time, that’s the worst part for me, not knowing what to expect!

All in all, after all is said, I am more excited about the arrival of our second baby boy. I’m looking forward to the bond that L and S will share (once L has warmed up to the baby ofcourse). I’m excitied for all our future family adventures, days out and the first smiles and giggles, and more importantly i’m excited to become a family of 4 (5 if you count the cat!) lol

I hope you all enjoyed reading this, and if you are expecting another little bundle soon, i’d love to hear your thoughts, do you share any of the same fears? And if you have recently become a family a mummy/daddy of 2 under 2 how are you finding it? What are you’re greatest struggles so far?

If you would like to read my 24 week pregnancy update then you can do so here.
















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21 thoughts on “My fears for having 2 under 2

  1. You will be fine. It’s totally understandable that you are worrying but even with a 4 year she gap I had very similar worries. You are a mum which simply means you will be winging it no matter what but that everything you do will be right for you. Try to enjoy it because of there’s one thing I’ve learnt in the last year of having two children, is that it goes blooming fast!

  2. Oh sending you lots of love – I can understand the worry but there will be other benefits that you will get… for example the close age gap means that they will be best friends! And your toddler will love you even more as he gets bigger, not less. And you will get out and about because you have to with a toddler which means you will be up and about sooner than you were with no 1 PLUS no 2 will get all these awesome experiences from a really young age. You will rock this! x

  3. I’m sure it’s terrifying – but I am also sure you’ll cope with everything, and find yourself with a wonderful family <3

  4. I think you’ll be surprised how much easier it is than you think! And your toddler will adapt and love their new role as big brother or sister! Having two was better than I ever imagined (I’m an only child). All the best x

  5. Bless you, you’re not the first and you certainly won’t be the last to have all these fears and doubts. There’s a 5yr gap between my two but that wasn’t my plan, I always wanted them closer in age. It may be a struggle but it will be lovely seeing them grow up so closely together. Wishing you all the luck in the world x

  6. No matter the timing, adding a baby to the family is a huge adjustment. It sound like you have already thought about a lot of the negatives, which is a step towards having a plan!
    You will be great, and things will work out….even if they are rough sometimes. That’s just motherhood, isn’t it? 😉
    Best wishes to you! I’m excited to see the pictures of your little siblings together.

  7. You are braver than me. These are all thoughts I’ve had when considering a second baby but we are yet to decide. I guess you just manage don’t you? 🙂 Thanks for joining in at #TriumphantTales. Hope to see you back on Tuesday.

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